10 Signs Your Wife is Abusive and What You Can Do About it!
Typically the picture we see in the papers or on television of an abused victim is a woman. Women have been abused for years and unfortunately the number continues to grow. And yet women can also be the abuser! Most men don’t want to admit they are being abused as they will be viewed as being weak.
How to Recognize an Abusive Woman:
1. She’s the woman who never has a kind thing to say about anyone.
2. The woman who constantly belittles everything her husband does from how much money he makes, the way he dresses, to telling him how lazy he is.
3. The woman that makes you pay if she doesn’t get her way.
4. The woman who expects you to drop whatever you’re doing and attend to her needs right then.
5. The woman who won’t look at you and won’t speak to you for days.
6. The woman who loves chaos, who’s always stirring up trouble.
7. The woman who throws a temper tantrum because her name is misspelled on a nametag at an event.
8. The woman who constantly tells her children they can’t do anything right.
9. The woman who doesn’t give gifts to specific members of the family.
10. The woman who yells, curses, and screams instead of talking.
Is this your wife? Have you experienced any of these behaviors from your wife? These women can trap their husband and children in the home of agony which they don’t know how to escape.
So What Can You Do?
You can take charge right now and put a stop to these types of actions and behaviors. Easier said than done right? You can! You can do it!
A man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. With that said, wouldn’t it be true that if you dislike your wife you dislike yourself, and vise versa?
1. First, realize you’re not crazy, know that you CAN do things right, understand you DO make as much money as God wants you to be making (or he’ll send another job offer your way), BE comfortable in the clothes you wear or update your wardrobe if you feel it necessary, STOP your wife immediately when she begins to curse, yell or scream (tell her to stop and stand there silently until she stops or walks away), explain to her you CAN’T stop what you are doing (only if that’s the truth) to help her at that moment, when she won’t speak to you ASK her to sit down together and talk about the subject causing this issue.
2. Second, understand your wife has issues, probably issues of some type of abuse or abandonment from her childhood, and have the desire to help her break this cycle. Also realize your children will more than likely become abusers if you don’t put a stop to it now!
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, He Himself being the SAVIOR of the body. You are the SAVIOR of your wife and your marriage. She needs help; therefore, she needs your help.
3. Third, believe that you and/or your children don’t deserve to be treated in that manner and take control of your life that she is creating havoc in. More than likely she wants your help. More than likely she doesn’t know how to stop. More than likely she wants you to be in control and come across as a more manly type of man (not aggressive or abusive of course).
He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord. Women desire – in fact, they thrive on attention! When her husband is thinking about her, giving her what she wants, and especially when he gives her what she wants before she asks for it, a woman shines! She is radiant and it spills over to those around her, including you!
4. Fourth, educate yourself, knowledge is power! Learn and understand the paragraphs below, be determined this is the type of wife you want to be with, then with your help, allow your wife to discover she can become this beautiful, loving, and caring person.
But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. If your wife pays attention and gives you everything you want, and you pleasurably receive it with nothing in return to her, she will wilt from lack of attention.
Here’s a secret. When your wife is happy, you are in control. When she’s not happy, she is in control. Get it?
5. Fifth, educate your wife to discover how to become a beautiful, loving, and caring wife and mother.
Help her discover: Ladies are created to naturally be subject to their husbands. They are created as givers. They know what their husband needs better than he does. God created her that way. When he’s working too hard, she will be the first to notice it? When he is trying to decide whether or not to start his own business, isn’t it her that he can turn to for guidance, as she is likely to have a good sense of what path would be best for him?
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness (self-control), longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. Help her discover how to let the peace of God rule in her heart, and teach her to be thankful for everything she has. Both of you learn to start praising and encouraging each other EVERY day. Make it sincere! You both have good qualities (or you would have probably not married each other) and you need to bring those good qualities out of each other.
6. Help her discover: The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Since your wife is the intuitive one, she needs to show mercy and kindness towards you and your children. She must discover that peace lives in her heart and in your home. She is created to be her husband’s helper and that’s exactly what he needs, a helper! Not a boss or nagger.
7. Help her discover: Braiding your hair doesn't make you beautiful. Wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes doesn't make you beautiful. Instead, your beauty comes from inside you. It is the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Beauty like that doesn't fade away. God places great value on it. This is how the holy women of the past used to make themselves beautiful. They put their hope in God. And they were submissive to their own husbands. True beauty comes from within, from the heart!
If you really want the abuse to stop, you have to take action now. Take action on the above, educating yourself and your wife, teaching each other how to love, respect, and give to each other. The two of you have created this situation and the two of you need to stop this cycle and begin to live and enjoy life. Learn what each other’s needs are, learn what upsets your wife, and discover how to make her happy.
Also understand there may be a disorder involved and in that case, your wife may need to see a doctor to be evaluated. She still needs you to be the head of the house and her savior.
You can't change your wife's behavior, however, you can change your own. This article is to offer some ways for you to do that.
No one deserves to be abused. This article is for the couple that wants help.
If you find your abuse is more than verbal, or if it becomes physically abusive, seek help immediately.
Contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1.800.787.3224 (TTY). Keep your local law enforcement involved.