Step 2: Ask for What You Want Foreplay Map – If your needs aren't being met between the sheets, it's time to have a conversation. Feel like you're not fluent in the language of sex? Write your name on one sheet and your partner's on the other. Think about what gets you in the mood. On your sheet, label body parts in the order you like to be touched. On the other sheet, label areas in the order you like to touch your partner. Have your partner do the same and compare the results!
Step 3: Let Go of Negative Messages – Did you grow up thinking sex was vulgar? Think positively and reclaim your sex life. [Rhonda says – Shame on your parents! Please parents, teach your children sex is not dirty or vulgar after marriage, sex was created by God, man and women were created to fit together (duh), and once married sex is a wonderful God given experience.]
Step 4: See a Doctor – Think your lack of sex drive is all in your head? Sometimes, a sagging sex life could be a sign of something more serious. Dr. Berman explains why your medicine cabinet could be dragging down your sex drive. There could be perfectly natural reasons for a sudden change in sexual function—how you feel about your relationship, body or emotions. Or it could be related to anxiety or depression.
Step 5: Make Sex a Priority – With work, kids, bills and other daily stressors; it's easy to see how sex can slip off your relationship radar. Reignite your passion with three simple steps. Dr. Berman explains why date night could be the highlight of your week.
While putting sex on your weekly to-do list might seem like one of the least romantic things ever, Dr. Berman says it could be the key to reviving your intimacy. "It feels unromantic at first [to schedule sex] because we have the misconception that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously, which it does in the beginning of the relationship when your dopamine centers of the brain are firing and everything's new and you can't get enough of each other," Dr. Berman says. "But that doesn't work in a long-term relationship. If you wait for it to happen spontaneously, you're going to be waiting forever."
2. Create a Bedroom Retreat
Bedrooms are for two things only—sex and sleep. "So cover the TV if you're not willing to take it out of the room. … Put a nice tapestry or something over it. Ideally, TV out of the room, computer out of the room, pictures of Grandma out of the room. Make it into a sensual, sexual haven."
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