5 Simple Steps to Better Sex

Well, today is day 3 in the 1Corinthians7 Sex Challenge! Congratulations to all of you who have pledged to take on the challenge to honor your spouse, your marriage, and your Christianity!!!
Is sex not what is used to be? What would life be like with a better sex life?
If you read the blog comment Monday from Lisbeth Tanz, she recommended the book “Real Sex for Real Women” Dr. Laura Berman, Ph.D. Today I’m sharing with you Dr. Laura Berman’s 5 Steps to Better Sex. ENJOY!
5 Steps to Better Sex
Step 1: Tell the TruthMore than 70 percent of women have faked orgasms on a regular basis, if not once or twice. But if you're looking for a more satisfying sex life, Dr. Laura Berman says it's time to start telling the truth—and stop "mercy faking." It's time for you and your partner to see how your sex life rates. Quiz yourself and use these self-assessments to get started.

Step 2: Ask for What You Want Foreplay Map  – If your needs aren't being met between the sheets, it's time to have a conversation. Feel like you're not fluent in the language of sex? Write your name on one sheet and your partner's on the other. Think about what gets you in the mood. On your sheet, label body parts in the order you like to be touched. On the other sheet, label areas in the order you like to touch your partner. Have your partner do the same and compare the results!

Step 3: Let Go of Negative Messages – Did you grow up thinking sex was vulgar? Think positively and reclaim your sex life. [Rhonda says – Shame on your parents! Please parents, teach your children sex is not dirty or vulgar after marriage, sex was created by God, man and women were created to fit together (duh), and once married sex is a wonderful God given experience.]

Step 4: See a DoctorThink your lack of sex drive is all in your head? Sometimes, a sagging sex life could be a sign of something more serious. Dr. Berman explains why your medicine cabinet could be dragging down your sex drive. There could be perfectly natural reasons for a sudden change in sexual function—how you feel about your relationship, body or emotions. Or it could be related to anxiety or depression.

Step 5: Make Sex a PriorityWith work, kids, bills and other daily stressors; it's easy to see how sex can slip off your relationship radar. Reignite your passion with three simple steps. Dr. Berman explains why date night could be the highlight of your week.
With work, kids, bills and other daily stressors, it's easy to see how sex can slip off your relationship radar. Reignite your passion with three simple steps. Dr. Berman explains why date night could be the highlight of your week.
1. Commit to Sex at Least Once a Week
While putting sex on your weekly to-do list might seem like one of the least romantic things ever, Dr. Berman says it could be the key to reviving your intimacy. "It feels unromantic at first [to schedule sex] because we have the misconception that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously, which it does in the beginning of the relationship when your dopamine centers of the brain are firing and everything's new and you can't get enough of each other," Dr. Berman says. "But that doesn't work in a long-term relationship. If you wait for it to happen spontaneously, you're going to be waiting forever."

2. Create a Bedroom Retreat
Bedrooms are for two things only—sex and sleep. "So cover the TV if you're not willing to take it out of the room. … Put a nice tapestry or something over it. Ideally, TV out of the room, computer out of the room, pictures of Grandma out of the room. Make it into a sensual, sexual haven."

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3 Responses to 5 Simple Steps to Better Sex

  1. I think this exercise is something couples should do at least once a year. As we age, our bodies and likes/dislikes change. How you experienced sex in your 20s is likely different once you're in your 50s. I'm glad you liked the book reference and found information in it that's helpful to your readers. This is a great place to start! (And good for you for not shying away from this topic!)

    • Thanks again Lis! It’s my plan to promote the 1Corinthians7 Sex Challenge once a year and hope the challenge catches on and grows each year, with the intent of helping couples strengthen their connection and love for each other. We hear about too many sex scandals and affairs that are so unnecessary. The sex challege isn’t going to stop the scandals and affairs but it is one step towards improvement. You are so right, the experience of sex is different in your 50’s than in your 20’s and it’s good for couples to review their sexual needs and pleasures.

  2. Hi Rhonda,

    I like the bedroom retreat idea. :) Also, sex for married couples are already legal, so there's no reason to think about the engative messages. Anyway, though I'm not married yet, I can say that this is very helpful to couples in strengthening their relationships.

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