5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage up When Life Gets You Down


5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage up When Life Gets You Down

By Pamela Maynard

Remember the days when it was just you and your husband?  Long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, date nights, spontaneous weekend vacations?  Those days are NOT long gone!
You may have a house full of kids, pets, relatives or all of the above.  You may have challenges, obstacles and financial difficulties that may get you down.  Just remember, life can’t get you down!  You can’t change what happens in your day, but you can change your attitude about what happens.   Keeping your marriage alive by staying close to your spouse keeps happiness in any home.  Here are five ways to turn things around when life gets your marriage down:

1. First things first, take time for you!  When the kids are home from school, sick or angry or just bored, don’t feel guilty putting them to work playing that new video game or letting them watch a movie.  Instead of cleaning the bath while your toddler is napping, take a nap yourself, read or just spend time watching your favorite “chick flick.”  You can’t make your spouse happy if you aren’t happy!


2. Take time to kiss!  How often do you kiss your spouse, really kiss them, not just a peck on the cheek?  Try the 7 second kiss!  Every time you have been away from your spouse for more than 2 hours, greet each other with a kiss, one that lasts 7 seconds.  The trick is, you both have to kiss the entire time and both have to pretend you like it, whether you feel like it or not.  After trying to count out loud and kiss at the same time, you’ll just give up and give in to the kiss.  Who knows where that kiss can lead J  (To learn more about the 7 second kiss, read Light His Fire and Light Her Fire by Ellen Kreidmen)


3.  Take time for your spouse.  Take a few minutes in the chaos of the morning rush to get ready for school and work to write your partner a love note.  Sometimes, that spontaneous “I love you” note keeps your spouse happy and thinking of you all day.  Love is tender.   


4.  Take time for you AND your spouse.  This means making sure you have time alone every week.  Use a play date/sleepover, family, friends or a babysitter to guarantee time alone.  Schedule a date night.  It gives us women something to look forward to!  It also gives your husband time to plan the perfect date.  It doesn’t have to been a five star hotel with a fireplace and hot tub or a fancy restaurant.  It can be a playful picnic in the park at sunset.  It’s the time alone that you spend together that revives your relationship.  Love is patient and kind!


5.  Eat, Pray, Love.  Talk it out, pray together and love forever!  When the kids are screaming over Popsicle flavors, the dog is getting into the trash can and someone is ringing the doorbell, remember that you are not alone.  God is with us always.  He brings peace to the craziest of families, sanity to the seemingly insane.  When your husband walks into your chaotic world at the end of an even crazier day, tell him all about it.  Then, remember to pray together.  The family that prays together stays together.  Love endures all things.



What about you? What do you do to keep your marriage up when life gets you down?



Pamela Maynard writes from a 7.5 acres happy homestead in NH that she shares with her husband, 8 year-old son, 3 dogs, 3 cats and a plethora of chickens, guinea hens and geckos.  Grit magazine published Pamela's first article, Poultry Pest Patrol in 2009 and she has had several children's stories published in Kidz Rule USA and The Kids Ark Magazine. Visit Pam’s Pen (http://pmaynardwrites.blogspot.com/) for advice on parenting, writing and inspiration, written by a hard working mom, for hard working parents, writers and writer-parents.

4 Responses to 5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage up When Life Gets You Down

  1. I go along with this Pamela. Like the last one, eat pray and love.  Also what I have found is communication.  talk with one another for at least 30 minutes every day.
    Keep up the great work and blessing to you,

    • Thanks for your comment Debbie. I love the eat pray and love too. One of my values! Talking at least 30 minutes ever day with each other is a wonderful idea and I would guess there aren’t many people who make 30 minutes a day to talk with their spouse. Thanks again Debbie!

  2. Rhonda, Thanks so much for having me on your blog! 
    Debbie, I love the idea of talking to your spouse 30 minutes a day.  As long as it isn't any negative discussions, it will be a great thing!

    • Pam I am so grateful for you writing and sharing your story with my followers. You bring up so many great points that every couple needs to think about. I mean, after years of marriage, how many couples kiss for 7 seconds or make time to spend together…really together. Thank you so much for your fabulous advice to help me build happiness in marriages!

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