How to Deal with a Husband that Yells

 

 Ask Rhonda1 How to Deal with a Husband that Yells

 

QMy husband interrupts me and cuts me off when I am talking; he raises his voice at me, and often hurts my feelings.

What advice can you give me?

 

A - I’m proud of you for reaching out for help and I thank you for your question.

You do not deserve to be talked at loudly, yelled at, interrupted, or belittled!!! That is not a happy or healthy marriage!

Have you talked to your husband and asked him to not interrupt you? Have you asked him not to raise his voice at you? Do you think things can get better?

 

Know that it is rude and disrespectful of your husband to raise his voice at you, yell at you, and belittle you enough to hurt your feelings. He has some anger issues and really could benefit from learning how to treat a lady.

 

You cannot control or change his actions. You can only make changes to your own actions and thoughts. You can love yourself and not let his 'poor' behavior control your happiness. You have three choices…1) love yourself and give him more love; 2) allow him to continue what he is doing and you will be sad and unhappy; 3) leave this abusive man.

 

I suggest you focus on loving yourself and making yourself happy. You will find a list of positive affirmations here that you should read (and believe) one every day. Think about that one affirmation all day. Practice one a day for the next 30 days.

 

Try giving your husband a compliment every day. Tell him how much you appreciate him. Thank him when he does things to help or provide for you.

If you are ever in danger, call 911 immediately!

 

I understand your pain and I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by the person that is supposed to love you the most. Pray for God to touch your husband’s heart and you be the best person you can be!

 

Hope this is helpful!

Rhonda

 

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5 Responses to How to Deal with a Husband that Yells

  1. Lesley says:

    I agree with Rhonda that the best thing to do is learn to love yourself so that abusive behaviour is not acceptable. By loving yourself more you will command more respect from others, including your husband. I would suggested learning about boundaries as well. You don't say how long you've been married, or if this is behaviour that developed over time or if it developed early on in your relationship. It sounds as though you have tried a lot of things and are very frustrated. Does your husband really know how unhappy you are? Try telling him that there is something really important that you want to talk with him about, and when you feel that you have his attention, tell him how you feel. Make statements that do not include blame, such as "you shouldn't", "what's wrong with you" and so on. Make all of your statements from an "I" point of view, such as "I feel hurt when you yell", "I am unhappy". If you feel that he is then listening, ask him to be a partner in creating a better relationship. Be sure that you are not retaliating in kind, such as withholding affection. Chances are he is not happy either. Ask him what he is unhappy about. Perhaps he has too much stress at work, or is worried about the future. Sometimes mood changes can be the result of physical illness or chemical imbalances. Perhaps it's time for him to go for a checkup, and tell the doctor how he's been acting as well as feeling. If his unhappiness is anything that you can help with, find ways to help him.  Give up all blame, anger and hurt. While you are in those frames of mind nothing good can be created and nothing will change. 
    WIshing you all the best
    Lesley, Naturotherapist

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  3. Vie | Chartwell Mobility Insurance says:

    I agree with all your suggestions, Rhonda. However, I'm curious at the reason why her husband yells at her. I know that whatever reasons he may have, it is still unacceptable. But it is always best to know each side of the story.

    • Rhonda Neely says:

      Hi Vie and thanks for your comment and question! I do agree with you, there are always two sides to every story and then there’s the truth pobably somewhere in the middle of the two stories. I didn’t talk to the huband in this particular situation, but I do know the wife is very worn out trying to please her husband, to no avail. She tells me the reason he yells at her is because his mother allowed him to yell at her.

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