Q – Rhonda, I'm very confused any more about marriage, can you please tell me what a marriage is supposed to be like?
My husband is a very quiet person and won't show emotions, if I don't tell him I love you, he won't tell me and that makes me feel insecure. I want to ignore things but it is hard to do it. I feel like my husband and I are just like roommates, he comes from work and is tired and not feeling like talking. He and I don't talk much. Rhonda, how can I know for sure I still love him? I think I do but I don't know how. Please help me, I'm confused and sometimes lost and some other times frustrated too. Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away but I have my two kids and I won't do that to them. Sometimes I want out of this marriage but I don't think I have what it takes to raise my kids on my own, plus they would hate it not having their parents together. We don't argue in front of them and we hardly ever do it any ways, I guess we just brush everything under the rug and move on. Thank you.
A – That’s a good question…what is marriage supposed to be like? My answer to that is: marriage should be where both husband and wife are happy to be with each other, to spend time together, are having fun and enjoying life as it is, both are enjoying the life they have together (not just one enjoying it), are proud to be the spouse of the other, are proud to be with our spouse, when you become one and know so much about each other and are connected as one mind one heart and one soul. That’s my answer to your question.
I would say if you feel like you want to run away, you’re not currently in love, I can say for sure you’re not happy. That can change but it will take both of you making changes, not just you.
Children need to be raised in a healthy home where their parents show them what a happy and healthy marriage is. This is how they learn to treat their spouse one day. My husband says that he wished his parents would have divorced instead of living in the battle of the roses that he grew up in. Staying together for your children isn’t always the best. What makes you think you couldn’t raise your children on your own? That’s my question to you and something you can decide what would be stopping you from doing that.
I hope this gives you some things to think about in your time of confusion and frustration. One thing for you to think about is this…this is YOUR life. You need to be happy and healthy, your children need to see you happy and healthy so they will know what that is and they too can be happy and healthy.
Keep loving yourself lady!!!
"Ask Rhonda" Advice Column
What’s your question you’d like for Rhonda to answer? You can Ask Rhonda here