19 Rules of Marriage…

19 Rules of Marriage…


Do you ever wonder what a marriage is supposed to be like?

Did you know there are many tools, tips, and suggestions available to help and guide you into having the marriage you dream of, no matter what state your marriage is at, or how long you’ve been married?

Are you tired of the arguing, nagging, bickering and drama?

I’ve recently connected with Rav Sean Gorman, who is Rabbi of the Pride of Israel Synagogue in Toronto, and a Navy Chaplain currently in reserve status.

He shared with me his Rules of Marriage which are totally in line with what I teach.

Here are his Rules of Marriage with my input added as well:

1. Marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100. You are each 100% responsible for the success of your marriage. {When you discover you are are the same team, you’re marriage will succeed.}

2. Do not go somewhere to find a spouse if you would not want your children hanging out there.

3. Take 30 minutes with your spouse every day. “Date night” is also critical, especially after you become parents. {See my 52 Date Ideas.}

4. One rose 12 times will speak more loudly than 12 roses once. Remember the little things. Do them often. {You’ll find some ideas in It’s Not Just a Note, read the comment from a guest blogger too!}

5. Call, text, or e-mail your spouse from work once a day, just to say hello. {Suggestions under Valentine Basics which should be listed as Daily Basics.}

6. When you get married, you can no longer be single. Act married. {Amen!}

This means the following:
a. Most of your friends should be married people.
b. Do married things. This means not hanging out in bars. See #2.
c. Your parents are now second on the priority list.
d. In a conflict between your spouse and your parents, your spouse always wins. This holds true even if you disagree with your spouse.
e. Once you’ve made the decision to be married, act married. Engagement is not your last chance to sow wild oats.

7. Never put yourself in a situation where your honour or integrity might be called into question.

8. Never let anyone call your spouse’s honour into question. Your spouse always gets your trust. No one is ever allowed to say anything bad about your spouse. {14 Ways to Honor Your Wife and Honoring Your Husband}

9. Talk about your spouse with respect and love. Do not make jokes about your spouse. This holds when your spouse is present, and when your spouse is not present. Talk to your spouse with respect.

10. When you get married, it is no longer “his money” and “her money.” The money belongs to both of you. Trust the values that you and your spouse share enough to trust your spouse with the money. Inability to trust your spouse with money is a sign of much deeper problems.

11. Arguments are a normal part of marriage. It is not okay to bring all the past misdeeds. A matter forgiven is a matter ignored. It does not matter who wins or loses an argument. It matters that you are both equal partners. {Remember, you’re on the same team. Here are 5 Tips for Handling Conflict.}

12. Say three nice things to your spouse every day. You should also flirt with your spouse. Do not let your conversations focus only on who is driving carpool. {Flirt or Fail.}

13. Your religious values and beliefs are more important to you than you realize. Think carefully about those values and beliefs. Choose a spouse who shares them.

14. Laugh and sing together. {10 Commandments for Wives and 10 Commandments for Husbands.}

15. Never, ever use the “d” word. Do not joke about it. Do not threaten it. Never let it enter your mind, and you will always find other ways to solve problems.

16. Making love is a vital part of your marriage. Set time aside for making love. Set enough time aside for more than just a “quickie.” Experiment. Have fun. Do not be perfunctory. Whipped cream has uses beyond the kitchen. Pornography is visual adultery. {Halleljuh! Watch for the 1Corinthians7 Sex Challenge coming in July}

17. We purchase starter homes. There is no such thing as a “starter marriage.”

18. Your spouse should know your status prior to your Facebook friends. Your spouse should know more about your status than your Facebook friends.

19. If either one of you thinks you need marriage counseling, seek marriage counseling. Your spouse’s opinions deserve consideration even if you disagree. {Need help, schedule a Marriage Makeover Breakthrough session with me just by Clicking Here!

With all these Rules, Tips, and Suggestions, why not reconnect with the person you said “I Do” to? Why not rekindle your love for each other? Why not put the fun and passion back into your marriage?

The only thing standing in your way is you!

You can follow Rav Sean Gorman by clicking now. My thanks to Sean for introducing me to his Rules of Marriage!

5 Responses to 19 Rules of Marriage…

  1. Shalom , I would like to get enough details why do you say God does not pick a wife for someone while in Proverbs 19:14 it says a prudent wife a man is from God? please answer me by even sending me a sermon because in Tanzania it is a problem because the Swahili version can be translated as “a prudent wife a man is given by the Lord”

    • Hi Mussa Kisoma!
      I cannot find where it is written in the blog post saying “God does not pick a wife for someone”.

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